Always Sticking Out

GeoTagged, [S6.29119, W106.88064]

Look at that mask in this picture...
I feel like I must look like that sometimes because when I walk down the street or go anywhere away from exclusively friends, I'm stared at as if I am wearing some kind of outlandish mask; some people are shocked by my face, some people find it scary, and still other people think that my very existence is the funniest thing they've ever witnessed. And I live an hour outside of the gargantuan capital, international city of Jakarta. And all that Java Jazz.
I know that it's very strange & rare to see "bule", which means that Indonesians don't quite know how to react to my simple presence. Since my arrival, I've constantly experienced a lack of privacy in just...well living a "normal" life & going anywhere without being interrogated as to why I am existing in whatever place I am existing, etc, etc. The typical scenarios are as follows:
# Scenario 1: I am walking down a street. Minding my own business. Maybe even deeply engaged in conversation with a friend. Indonesians see my "tinggi" self and notice my flashing "pirang" hair. I'm found out & cannot hide; the rest of my journey is soundtracked by
•"buLE!!!!!! [foreigner, but kind of an insensitive nickname for foreigners]"
•"naon sih, kok bule?!?!?!? [Sundanese for "what the freak, a bule?!?!?]"
• "buset, ada bule! [like "holy cow, there's a foreigner"]"
•Any combination of the following English phrased which don't sound like English because all the "r"s are rolled & the pronunciation very Indonesian:
"Misssterrrr, ey, Misssterrrr!"
"Vwhat es yur nem??"
"Good morrrrnING! (regardless of time of day)
"Howvarrre yew?"
#Scenario 2: I go to a store, office, or other kind of building it would be normal for people to visit. The employees notice one by one & start pointing me out to each other; whispering amongst themselves Teasing one another about English language skills ensues. I pretend not to notice in hopes they will get the idea that I'm not a carnival freak. Then the situation takes one of two turns: they muster up gumption enough to question me; or they coyly interact or avoid interacting with me. If I'm feeling particularly irked by being so blatantly gawked at and I feel that my humanity has been particularly forgotten, then maybe I will blow their mind and ngomong sesuatu pake bahasa indonesia atau bahasa sunda [say something in Indonesian or Sundanese]. Then they are either too shocked to continue whispering like a 5th grader about me in front of my face, or their disbelief girds them with boldness to find out my story. When people meet me they always ask the following questions:
1. What is your name? (Siapa namanya?)
2. Where are you from? (Asli dari mana?)
3. Where do you live? (Tinggal di mana?)
4. Why are you in Indonesia? (Kenapa di Indonesia?)
5. Who do you live with? (Tinggal sama siapa?)
6. Are you comfortable in Indonesia (Betah di Indonesia?)
7. What do you like to eat in Indonesia? (Suka makan apa di Indonesia?)
8. How long have you been in Indonesia? (Sudah berapa lama di Indonesia?)
9. Do you have a boyfriend already? (Sudah punya pacar, belum?)
10. What religion are you? (Agama apa?)
....
You get the idea. Indonesians are very curious and usually not afraid to ask foreigners the personal details about their lives. My own school headmaster asks me almost without fail every time he sees me if I have a boyfriend yet! Sometimes I feel like I should just be flattered at being treated like a star--and at first it was a lot easier to be called out & asked for photos everywhere I went...but I'm honestly really starting to empathize with celebrities because I experience first hand how dehumanizing it can be to always be the walking photo op. It's one thing when people ask about me out of pure curiosity, but often I feel as though people interact with me only for the "glam" factor. I feel stuck up even dropping that last term but in Indonesia there really is a "glam" factor that comes with talking to/taking a picture with/having the phone number of/being Facebook friends with
"bule."
I don't mean to complain or be whiny, but it really is not a considerate or sensitive thing to intrude upon people's lives simply because they look different from you. They're uncontrollably curious, I know---but if someone is in a wheel chair it would be rude to go up to them and straight up ask them why; If a woman is wearing a jilbab, it would be rude to go up to her and ask her why; If a guy was covered in tattoos from head to toe it would be rude to go up to him & interrogate him about why he chose to cover his body in tattoos: my point being that people have a right to look how they are/how they want to look without everybody having to know why...appearances, decisions, disabilities, etc are not public property and not everyone's business.
Okay, so also maybe I'm feeling a little frustrated when people I just meet ask me if I'm "betah di Indonesia"... sure it's polite protocol for them to ask but it's so superficial because I know they expect me to give an enthousiastic "YA!"
My real answer--which would go something like, "Actually I struggle to enlighten people on the downfalls and unacceptability of sexism and forcing people to pick one of five religions"--would not be dealt with well & people would not know how to act. A funny scene to imagine, though! ;)

The attached picture is of a Sundanese parade celebrating "penyunatan" or circumcision--which seems to be performed distastefully late here. The parade was going down my street & there were little boys of maybe four or five years old being carried on rocking-horse sized animals. My mamah explained the general idea by gesturing with her pinky... because unfortunately at that time I didn't understand the Indonesian word for circumcision. Since she is seorang Jawa Tenggah (native of Central Java), she couldn't explain the significance of all the masks & animals in the parade.

Later I will write about the teacher-student dynamic which varies greatly from that considered "professional" in the States. An example so people don't freak out & think the worst: It's a "good/nice thing" if a teacher treats a student to snacks at the cafeteria. In the States maybe an elementary teacher would buy a student lunch if they forgot their lunch or lunch money... But it would be weird if a teacher came up to a student & told them to go pick out what they wanted from the snack shop, his treat. It would just be weird & unprofessional in just about every situation imaginable in the States.
Anyways, next week I'm off of school so I'm going to try and rally up my host fam to take one of the vacations they've been talking about since I got here.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm missin winter right about now. And I never got to go to an Ash Wednesday service--the one where ashes are put on one's forehead & one is challenged to remember one's mortality--I always love being reminded that I have limited time left on this Earth, so I need to make it count.

I don't need an evening worship service to do that, though. I can step outside & be reminded by anyone that I am an outsider & different from everyone else; I take it as a challenge to expand people's horizons; challenge how much of the world they consider part of their community; & be reminded how far away from my starting point I am--what an opportunity I've been given to learn.